Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in aitch1217's LiveJournal:

Monday, September 4th, 2006
3:10 am	Chillin With Homies Since my last post was on Thursday I figure that I should pick it up on shit that happened friday. I had the day off because I needed to go out to Beaverton and send my transcripts to UofO from my High School and PCC. Since I'm going down in that area anyways, Noah Sandler convinced me to pick him up at the greyhound station during the day. I was talking to Shaman in the morning and I mentioned having to go out to Beaverton and he asked if he could bum a ride for gas money to go out to work for Romain, starting off innocently enough you know. Half way to Beaverton after I pick up Shaman, it turns out that Romain didn't want to work that day so Shaman comes along for the ride. Walking through my high school, I feel so old. I was at least a foot taller than everyone else and there wasn't a single cute girl that I saw. We get to the counsling office and there are pictures up on the wall, one has Pochahontes holding 2 guns, counterstrike style.... Its been awhile since I was in high school, but I sure don't remember anything like that. Took care of buisness at both schools, had to pay 120$ in parking fees though which sucked ass. We went down to the bus station in downtown Portland, in the course of conversation, I forget exactly why but I said the word nigger real loud. Not my smartest move ever, but I walked away intact. The three of us hung out most of the night, talking about the usual shit girls, magic, and more girls. We wander over to the neighbor's party... there is 1 person within 5 years of us, its mostly really old people so we steal their food and talk with the cute russian 19 year old girl. Shaman leaves us to go do something with Ricky, but somehow me, Noah, Christa, and the cute russian (Cassenya) I can't spell her name, get over it. She is the most sheltered 19 year old I've ever met, shes never even kissed a boy, has no sex drive at all, and has never had a sip of alcohol. So we have fun all night trying to break down those barriers to limited success, but was definately alot of fun just hanging out. At 2am it got interesting, I find out that this 16 year old girl wants to buy something from me. After a quick negotiation in which she pays for gas, I drive out to her house and sell her some stuff. Turns out she is going to do the stuff I'm selling her with her MOM, now most of you know what I'm selling so you understand this, if you don't ask me later. But thats some fucked up shit right there. I get a call around 3am from her, telling me how horny she is and wants me to come over and have sex with her, I found out later that her mom was in the room as she was telling me this. PTQ on saturday, we show up barely in time and I receive a decent card pool, but not great. 6-1 first time making top 8 of a limited event without the nuts. Lost in top 8 to Noah who won the whole thing, but thats not very exciting. I got five different people calling/messaging me to come to Alex & Sara's party, but first I have to make a pit-stop at a keggar that Chesty invited me to. Ever walk into a party and realize that there is someone that you never wanted to see again there? Well there were three of them there, so it was already kinda awkward for me. Combined with it being rather boring, and there being absolutely no alcohol left when we arrive, me and Noah decided we had had enough and left only thirty minutes after we got there. Thinking back on it I missed a golden opportunity to make alot of money though selling stuff... I'm so bad at this. On the way back to Vancouver I get my second drunk call from Danny yelling at me to come to the party, I figure why not, unload some stuff, drink their alcohol, have a good time. When I show up, Dan is the most trashed I have ever seen him, apparently they started drinking around 7 or something like that, it was around 12:30 when I showed up. Have a fun time, got wasted. Danny hit me in the nuts 3 times though, first time was awful then he kept missing and I learned to stay away. I learned the hard way that my brain is harder than my nuts. Sunday, I took Noah back downtown to the bus station, then I was a man on a mission: To not wear pants for the rest of the day. A bold move, but in the end I accomplished it. I had a talk with the girl I slept with on thursday, she told me that there was something important she should have told me before we did anything. I'm thinking OH SHIT, she has a disease and I need to go get checked out. Nope! turns out she is a lesbian... I actually knew this beforehand, but it was one of those moments where you just have to sit back and think about shit for a minute. So I was in my room playing guitar tonight when Christa called me out of my room. She told me that Neil and her were sponsering a mexican and shows me a piece of paper which shows that her and Neil will be giving 20 cents a day to Joe because he is so poor. Joe is another one of my roommates..... Alot more shit happened, but here are just some highlights, enjoy. (Comment on this)
3:09 am	Luckiest Man Alive Tonight started off like any other night, I was sitting around doing nothing. This girl I've talked to twice before about selling her some stuff, messaged me. I inform her of my need to get drunk. She agrees with said statement. Before I go to pick her up, I get all ready and I walk out of my room and what do I hear? "Michael! we have a new ferret." I shit you not, my roommates actually have a ferret now, at least for a few days. It was cute except they just gave it a bath so it was shaking as Heather and Joe looked at Neil's black and white porn book... I am off to pick up the girl who I have never even seen a picture of before, I get lost maybe 3 times when her house is only like 3 miles away from mine, and this is while sober. I eventually get to her house, pick her up and take her back to my place. In my room we try to decide between gin and vodka, we eventually decide on the vodka as it makes us want to puke the least. After just talking about shit, listening to music and watching a little porn we have sex. That is not what this story is about though, thats just a little icing on the cake. I am very drunk and have to drive her home at 11:30, but I am sober enough to drive so I do it while I know I am still awake. I drop her off at her house, and start making my way back. As soon as I get on the main road, a cop pulls up behind me. I haven't been pulled over in over a year, and I'm still very drunk so I'm kinda worried. Of course, a mile down the road, lights go on and I get pulled over. Lets go on the rundown of shit that I had that was illegal: I was trashed My insurance is expired (since Decemeber) My registration is expired My liscense is from Oregon (I moved up here beginning of December, legally I have to change in 45 days) My tags are expired (October/05) I had a full beer in the glove compartment I was listening to music on headphones when they pulled me over I had 20 pills of E in the glove compartment My tail light was out (the first reason why he pulled me over) He gives me a firm lecture about registering everything for Washington, and gives me a really hard look. Then tells me that I am getting off with a warning. It takes everything I have to keep a straight face through all of this. He gets back in his car, I pull off and realize that I am actually a god, I could have been fucked for life if he had known everything, instead I live to fight another day. I am still drunk as I write this and coming down off such a ridiculous natural high that if I screw up any grammer, just deal with it. (Comment on this)
3:08 am	Blackout Drinking Awhile ago it was a Thursday night, at least I think it was a Thursday, just chillin because I am a slacker that was working weekends at the time. I am doing nothing at my house, so Larynn comes up with the genius idea to get drunk. Can't complain about her thinking process, it makes perfect sense you know? We are breathing therefor we should get drunk. Could have gone to a party with a ton of guys, but instead I was talking to Phil and he decided to come over with Morgan and 2 random girls. Larynn had a friend and her boyfriend at the time over, so we were getting drunk before anyone else came, I was to the point of sweet intoxication, then the power went out, the entire neighborhood was out. Nothing like a party where you can't see who you are fooling around with. Morgan and Phil arrive and I am pleasantly smashed. Waiting for the girls to arrive we are hanging out in Larynn's room and Larynn starts to sing. Phil and I just look at each other and leave the room, quoting Phil for this one "I didn't think that anyone could make me not want to hear Sublime, but she pulled it off." Her singing was so awful that I begged her to stop, didn't happen so Phil, Morgan and I hung out in the hallway. I like making drunk calls sometimes, this was one of my better nights for this. I wasn't blackout drunk and I still had full motor control of my body. I called: My ex-girlfriend in which I complained that I hadn't fucked her yet, 4 other girls, and Corbett. But the highlight of this was when I called a girl named Chelsea, except it turns out it was her house phone and not a cell phone. Her mom picked up at around 11pm, I asked for Chelsea but apparently she was already asleep, phone call ended. Morgan came up with the genius idea to call her back. Not wanting to back down from such an obvious retarded move, I of course call back and ask for Chelsea's cell phone number, the obviously pissed mother wants to know who it is, so I tell her that it is Michael. Thankfully I have the most common boys name ever and that really doesn't help her. The bitches arrive and Phil's friend is not that attractive, but her friend is definately bangable. We stand around downstairs, drinking from my 1/2 gallon of vodka and just the normal bullshit. Lights came back on and blindness ensues, but it is a welcome change. Not much happens the rest of the night unfortunately though, Larynn's boyfriend is passed out upstairs and I call him an idiot to her face. She doesn't take kindly to this (since then she has said "You were right about him" many many times) so I feel fine. The night abruptly ends though when I was talking about some random bitch and Morgan asks me "H, what did the 5 fingers say to the face?" There is only one logically response to this of course "SLAP!" Phil's friend takes huge offense to this and they are out of the house within 30 seconds of hearing this from being comforatably sitting. Morgan got this hurt puppy dog look on his face when he realized that what he said made them leave, we try to concole him with the fact that she was just looking for a reason to leave. The party is done, Phil and Morgan leave, I pass out soon after. (Comment on this)
3:07 am	Roommates and Fake Sluts The intro to my living situation was posted in my last blog, read it if you are interested in knowing the basics. This post is gonna introduce you to the insane environment Yesterday (February 27th), was just another ordinary day; I got up, worked 5 hours and then came home. Shaman was over, hanging out with Larynn chilling on the matress thats randomly in the middle of the living room and David was chillin on the opposite couch watching some movie or something, I didn't really pay attention or care. I was playing guitar in my room really loud when Joe, Neil and Christa just come into my room, im not quite sure why but they don't ask me to stop playing so I just turn it down a little and start talking to them. During the middle of the conversation, Christa decides to stand up and start cleaning my room. She cleans everything and does my laundry, I am very grateful but I never expected that to happen. Neil and Joe get into a heated argument about Sex, Drugs, and Religion while I'm playing Rock & Roll.... I can't quite piece together a joke there but use your imagination. It comes up that Neil and Christa don't have sex. I managed to offer sex to Christa if she wanted it, two or three times while she was cleaning my room in front of her boyfriend. The religion argument eventually came down to the same thing it always does, whether you have faith or not. No matter how you boil it down with logic on either side, thats what it always comes down to: do you have faith or not? My room is clean at this point, my laundry is being done and I have new drapes. They are a velvet red to go with my purple walls. Im sure my room could look gayer, but lets not try shall we? The last part of the night was more fun though. I get this message on myspace from some random girl named Stephi: You are very interesting... Just thought I would let you know. :P Kinda cute too. ;) I'm Stephi..and anything else you wanna know..just look at my profile. :) *.Stephi.* I looked at her profile and it becomes apparent why she was so forward: Shes an ugly one, she also calls herself a bitch in her profile but more on that later. I confide with my friends about how to approach the situation (00:44:52) H: i need a girl's opinion (00:45:43) Amanda: shoot (00:45:59) H: *Link to picture removed* (00:46:13) H: would you not fuck her? or fuck her drunk and lie about it? (00:46:57) Amanda: depends on how drunk i was (00:46:57) Amanda: definetly lie about it Good enough for me, I go for broke. With a girl that calls herself a bitch, there is one of two ways they should be handled: either never talk to them again, or fuck them and then never talk to them again. Early on in the conversation the tone is set: (00:46:57) Stephi: I get really naked and slutty when I drink. (00:47:23) H: so you should come over and get drunk tonight is what you are saying It moves on with the same progression: (00:52:54) H: you are sounding very appealing right now, i wont lie (00:53:08) Stephi: hahahaha (00:53:19) Stephi: Just because I'm decent looking and naked when I'm drunk? And legal? (00:53:21) Stephi: hahahaha (00:53:31) H: your legal?!? even better I tell some of my stories about what insanity my life is, she is at least enjoying hearing about it and I am definately with my charm. I tell her the long story about what happened on the last Saturday night at the party. Then the big bombshell of the night hits: (01:20:55) H: so i wouldnt need to get you drunk to fuck you? (01:21:07) Stephi: Ha. Not so fast..I'm a virgin. (01:21:10) Stephi: :) (01:21:14) H: !!!!!!!!!!! So its official, this went from the easiest lay of my life, to not even worth trying in an instant. I spend a few minutes trying to figure out if its worth my time talking to her for sex, then I go on to the last shred of hope she has left for talking to me, head. But I quickly abandon that thought too and its official, she is a bitch and I have no use for her as a human being. (01:34:28) Stephi: That's sad, you only want me for slutty purposes. (01:34:33) Stephi: :( (01:34:54) H: of course i do I decide to end it abruptly when she tries to make friends: (01:41:36) Stephi: So, maybe you should just try being friends with me first, and maybe try the whole sex thing later on? (01:41:59) H: nah, im mostly interested in sex (01:42:32) Stephi: Wow, you're more of an asshole than I thought. (01:43:01) H: it happens I leave her to Corbett who then curses my name not realizing it was the ugly girl I showed him earlier and I sleep soundly the rest of the night. The upside to this is I had a long conversation with Amanda who I haven't talked to in awhile and definately enjoyed it. Shes a cutie, but then again I have a thing for redheads so what are you gonna do? (Comment on this)